Thoughts From The Inner Soul

Sunday, December 10, 2006

I once said that i won't post my unhappy entries in my blog anymore.But today, i've to break my promise. Call me a promise-breaker, but i can't tolerate it anymore. I've been tolerating nonsense over and over, and my emotion got the better of me on Thursday night.

I've seriously failed as a leader, as a senior. I can't even get my juniors to get my work done. Failed to get their respect. I've FAILED!

It just simple calling for my juniors, for 2 whole weeks, the response had been poor. We all(the seniors) thought it was because they did not inform the rest properly. So we decided to get the two to call again, and then the third time, which was on Monday morning itself.Specifically, got one of them to recall, and if there is anything that they can't handle, inform me via my phone,msg,call, or msn. He nodded. Monday night itself, in msn, i checked again with him, but he did not reply me.

No message or calls from my juniors within the next few days, till Thursday night, when i was in msn, i've decided to remind him of the timing of the meeting that is supposedly to be scheduled on the following day, Friday. He replied saying he wasn't free, and did not call. Boy, i was damn mad, and asked him why didn't he did so. Wasn't in a good mood to talk now was the reply i got. I was boiling inside, as i've a meeting on Friday with the rest, and this is what he told me. Told him that he had to come down to and explain to me personally, and he called to asked if he could not go to school. Told him to stop wasting my time, and hang up on him.

Expected, he did not come to school, and gave lame excuses..damn shitty excuses. Of cause i was cursing and swearing..Vivian and Amy knew it too..Im sorry for that.

As a leader, i've failed. FAILED!!Is it really that difficult?If you can't call, why can't you let me know?why? Im really not in a very nice mood. I've to answer to my teacher, and trouble my friends too, and i don't think its fair to do this. Planning of the camp had already been done by us, the seniors, yet no initiatives were seen. I wonder if really are you guys cut out to be captain or vice captain. If really you are given a chance to be the vice captain, i assure you, i'll be the first to object.

People reading might think i have no reason to complan or object since i've failed as a leader, but it's not gonna stop me. Together with Amy, i guess both of us have the right to object.

I know you guys have been bored by the entry, but i've no other way out. Im really upset over this. Say that im being emotional, being stupid,but that's how i feel. No way am in gonna see the fruits of our labour crumble down. No way!

Regina

p.s:sorry, but i'll blog on better entry maybe tomorrow.